A carer’s ‘love language’ is time and devotion | Letter

One reader, whose husband has dementia, says her daily life is an act of service and love

Your article on the “five ‘languages’ through which people communicate tenderness, affection and commitment to their partner” is fascinating, but sadly takes no account of time (Can knowing your ‘love language’ transform your relationship?, 15 July).

I read it, as I am sure others will have, and put my own relationship under the microscope. And I am happy to reminisce that during a 56-year relationship, the five “languages” – acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time and giving gifts – have been evident, sometimes in a moving cycle, each with its own pace. However, time and dementia have robbed us. As my husband’s carer, my daily life is an act of service that lasts 24 hours. And I do feel like a parent. But it is an act of love.

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