Fit in my 40s: twistin’ my melon with Bez | Zoe Williams

The king of the 90s delivering a workout? I’ll raise a maraca to that

I embarked on Get Buzzin’ with Bez – available on YouTube to all decent men and women who know how to fast-forward through a Disney+ advert – expecting Happy Mondays music and a bit of arm-flailing. I wasn’t really expecting the eponymous Bez, king of the 90s, crown prince of dancing to music people didn’t previously dance to, to deliver a workout. Definitely wasn’t expecting him to have a personal trainer.

I could have anticipated his hot opening (“All I did in the first lockdown was eat cake and drink myself to oblivion”) and the fact that a light jog around a snowy, featureless park was the farthest he’d run for 20 years. The real shocker was how much he now looks like Keir Starmer. Imagine if the leader of Her Majesty’s opposition had taken a shedload of ecstasy … no, wait, you don’t have to imagine that. They look exactly the same. They’re more or less the same age. Hard living, it turns out, is fine; Shaun Ryder is an outlier. I called Mr Z upstairs so urgently he thought I’d put my back out. “Who. Does. He. Look. Like?” I was on tenterhooks. If he hadn’t got it, I would have been angry with him all evening. “Keir Starmer,” he said with a why-would-you-ask abruptness, as if I’d just asked him to tell me what spice this was and it was cinnamon.

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