I feel caught between two wonderful men and know I’ve behaved badly. The security I have with my partner is great – but I worry I’ll regret not pursuing this other man
I have been with my partner for more than a decade and we are due to get married next month. My fiance is my best friend and everything has seemingly fallen into place. However, about a year ago, a colleague began to show an interest in me, which I returned. I didn’t tell him about my fiance and would avoid mentioning my personal life. While we’ve never had an affair, we did send each other lots of flirty texts. I recently went out with my colleague one-on-one for the first time. I’ve no doubt he thought it was a date and after a few drinks I told him I was getting married. He was kind to me rather than angry, which made me like him even more. I tried to kiss him and he turned me down, saying I would regret it.
I’m so embarrassed and ashamed by the way I treated him and my fiance asks me why I am feeling so down all the time. I feel caught between two wonderful men and I know I’m the bad person in this situation. Should I tell my fiance even though nothing happened? Should I stay with him when I’ve clearly fallen for someone else? The security of the relationship with my fiance makes me feel safe but I worry that I’ll regret not pursuing this. On the other hand, I’m not sure if my colleague even likes me any more after the way I treated him. I’m also terrified of losing the life I’ve built with my partner to go back to being single, poor and alone.