I’m experiencing family burn-out. I love my wife and kids, but I feel like I’m being used

You say your attempts to talk about this don’t get far, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but the situation won’t change unless you change it

I feel like I’m experiencing family burn-out. I have accommodated my wife’s demanding work life – long hours and moving around the country multiple times (she is an obstetrician) – since before we had kids. She is frequently home late, working after-hours and on her phone or emails when she is home.

I was always somewhat ambivalent about having kids – whereas she definitely wanted them. But despite this I feel that I do the vast majority of parenting. I also have a career and love my work – and would love to be able to even work a bit more than my perennial part-time arrangement. (Perhaps this is akin to how women have historically felt when shoehorned in to home duties.)

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