I’m tired of accepting most of the domestic load. How do I tell my husband? | Leading questions

How to approach this will depend on your husband, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Is this an issue of ignorance or motivation?

I’m tired of accepting the majority of the domestic load just because I’m technically better at it. My husband is a wonderful human, a great father and a generous and loving partner. But ever since I’ve known him, he has been almost inept at anything domestic in nature, be it chores around the home or managing life in a partnership with a family of his own. It all falls on me, and I’m tired not only from the physical load, but the mental load too. It’s this part that people talk less of – holding the knowledge and remembering, planning, executing all the things that are needed to run a household successfully.

I feel like the reason I, like many women I’m sure, carry this load is because we’ve let our men get away with the perception that “we know how” to do it better and therefore it’s easier that we take on the responsibility. My husband will only do things like chores or organising of household needs when prompted and guided.

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