Learning how to recover from toxic relationships | Letters

Readers share their experiences of heartbreak and abusive patterns of behaviour in response to an article by Rebecca Humphries

Rebecca Humphries’ honest and forthright column (My partner cheated on me on Strictly, but it took another heartbreak for me to quit toxic love, 15 October) struck a chord with me when she said: “My heartbreak … had come from the inescapable knowledge that, though they had been very different men, I had behaved the same in both relationships … I had prioritised their needs to the point where I couldn’t remember what mine were.”

Putting oneself to one side in that way is almost a textbook description of codependency. In coming out of an emotionally abusive marriage of nearly four decades, and while noting some red flags in a new relationship with an exciting but unavailable man, reading it reminded me that I still have difficulty in telling the difference between the twin states of arousal and fear.

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