My ‘lost love’ has contacted me, but my wife is dismayed

If I was your wife, I would not be reassured by you referring to your friend from the past as your ‘lost love’, says Philippa Perry

The dilemma Forty years ago, as I was leaving school and starting university, I had an all-consuming relationship with a young woman. She ended it in a long, drawn-out way, which left me a wreck. I had a breakdown, which went pretty much unacknowledged by everyone.

I staggered through my studies and then life carried on, although the trauma of losing her never left me. I lost what promised to be a good academic career and have always been haunted by “what might have been”. Ironically, she went on to be a very successful academic.

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