My partner is always with Zoom mates – there’s no time for me | Mariella Frostrup

Everyone is looking for distractions in lockdown, says Mariella Frostrup. Find your own and see how the land lies when things return to normal

The dilemma Since lockdown my partner has found a wonderful group, who all work in the same field as him. It’s a great support network and they regularly meet throughout the week on Zoom. He says it’s like going to the pub with mates and in that way it is great. However, it’s now becoming a bit of an issue. The calls take place multiple times a week and in between they all have one big WhatsApp group so sometimes it feels like he is plugged in constantly. A few times I have thought he wanted to spend time alone because, well, lockdown, so have headed to bed to give him space, only to find the next minute he’s logged on to Zoom and chatting with them again. On the nights when it’s just us, he falls asleep early and seems a little down. I can see what a wonderful group this is for him but it’s becoming a 24-hour thing. I don’t want to be unsupportive but I also want him to understand that multiple calls a week and at weekends cuts into quality time we could be spending together.

Mariella replies Careful what you wish for! For many, the past 12 months have provided over-exposure to our significant others that we’ll be glad to call a halt to as soon as we’re given dispensation. There’s no question that successive lockdowns have been a rough ride for almost everybody. With the impact of restrictions and the absence of friends, many have experienced the impulse to bolt the confines of our own homes.

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