Making a big choice means declining an alternative future, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Is it the loss of possibility that’s troubling you?
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I am getting married soon to my partner of six years and all of a sudden I feel really nervous and unsure about it. I do love him but we started dating when we were very young and, although our thoughts and ideas align well as we have grown together, I still wonder if I could be better matched to someone else. I feel terrible for having these thoughts as I know he doesn’t. I know he will be an amazing husband and we can have a nice life together but I miss the passion of the early stages of a relationship.
A new co-worker has started at my workplace and we have had some flirtatious moments. It felt good to be seen in that way by someone else, however I wouldn’t dare take that further. But I get on really well with him and find myself wanting to talk to him all the time. I wonder if having conflicting thoughts like these is a bad sign. Shouldn’t I be completely content with my engagement and excited to marry someone I love?
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