Tim Dowling: the cat is using my lettuce bed as a litter tray. He’ll be sorry

I devise intricate, complicated strategies to keep him out – to the bemusement of the onlooking builders

Here is what the cat does: he waits until I have transplanted a row of seedlings into the fine tilth of the raised bed. Then, for good measure, he waits a few more days, until he is sure I’m satisfied that the seedlings are well established.

Then he goes out and shits in the middle of the row. And then, in a belated fit of daintiness, he uses his front paws to pile a huge amount of earth over the turd, burying half the seedlings and raking away the other half in the process.

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