We need a treat a day: advent calendars for every month

Why should uplifting advent calendars only be for 24 days a year?

I propose an advent calendar that lasts the whole year long. Admittedly, it’s on these, the colder, sicker days that we need a little treat the most. A tincy wincy treat to get us through the morning and allow us to claw our eyelids open and feast upon the splendour of another day, a country polluted and bereaved, and covered with a fine dusting of whichever variant has chosen to join us this week. But then January comes and we are still in need, and February, and March, and we’re still in need by spring, in need of a special little treat to propel us through the longer days. It is our responsibility to stay cheerful and positive, and we do this by medicating with one very small Milky Bar after breakfast.

At some point in the last decade came a universal acknowledgment that advent calendars were wasted on children who, unlike us, still had faith that sweet things were due to them. The chocolates were replaced by fingers of gin, or “craft accessories”, or whisper-sized beauty products and miniature perfumes, for women like me who find relief by temporarily extinguishing our ugliness and stench.

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